Look at snacks, find nothing you want to eat.  Be nostalgic.  Remember oyster crackers you used to eat as a kid.  Call your mom for recipe.  Head to store.  Look at oyster cracker box.  Find recipe you called mom for written on the side of the box.  Buy stuff you need.  Go back to dorm.
Measure 3/4 cup oil and pour into a large ziploc.  Add full packet of dressing mix.  Add a tablespoon or so of dill. Close bag, shake around a bit.  Open bag and add all of the crackers.  Shake again.  Eat some.
Tell friends about the recipe on the side of the box.  Get complimented on your family recipe.
Eat crackers for days.  Develop stomach ache.  Get tired of crackers and stop.  Notice your stomach feels better.  Start snacking on crackers since you're feeling better.  Start feeling sick again.  Stop eating crackers for good this time.  Don't throw them away though, keep them around for a month or so on your shelf.

Go back to fusion foods.